Using the biblical story of Jacob and Laban from Genesis 30 and 31, Pastor Zach Zeller presents a sermon titled "Dealing with a Narcissist," equating the biblical figure of Laban to a modern-day narcissist,,. The sermon defines a narcissist as a person consumed with self and blind to the pain of others, noting that while psychology provides the label, the Bible describes this character type as a "carnal minded, pride filled idolater",. The message outlines three specific steps for handling such relationships.

1. Wait on the Lord The first step is patience, as Jacob recognized Laban’s character long before confronting it. Pastor Zeller advises that one should not confront a narcissist until they are secure enough to survive the consequences, as these individuals tend to retaliate when exposed,. During this waiting period, one should trust God for vindication rather than trying to self-justify,. The sermon lists three indicators that the time of waiting is over:

• Observation: One can often discern the truth by observing the narcissist's children, who may not conceal their feelings as well as the parent,.

• Revelation: God may provide a clear prompting or word to leave, as He did for Jacob,.

• Consultation: There is safety in consulting with others who know the situation, just as Jacob confirmed his perspective with Rachel and Leah,.

2. Enact Boundaries The pastor distinguishes between "setting" and "enacting" boundaries, stating that boundaries cannot be negotiated with a narcissist but must simply be enforced,. Jacob illustrated this by leaving without asking permission, because a premature confrontation could have led to ruin,. The sermon warns that narcissists often use "gaslighting"—a form of manipulation that twists facts and rewrites history—to maintain control and make the victim doubt their sanity,. Furthermore, the sermon highlights a spiritual danger: Rachel stole her father's household idols when leaving, illustrating that the root of narcissism is idolatry and that one must be careful not to adopt the sins of the person they are fleeing,.

3. Stand in the Truth When Laban eventually confronted Jacob, he claimed ownership of everything, including Jacob's children and flocks, displaying a "reality distortion field" common to narcissists,. Jacob responded by stating the facts plainly and establishing a physical boundary—a covenant marker—between them,. The sermon emphasizes that there comes a time when you must realize you cannot save the other person, but you can save yourself and your family.

The message concludes by asserting that the key to breaking free from the manipulative control of a narcissist is the "fear of God," which liberates a person from the fear of man. Ultimately, for a good chapter of life to begin, a bad chapter often must end,.